Wiggle Your Big Toe

Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe.

As I lay in the back of Buck’s pickup truck on the couch, trying to will my limbs ankle and foot out of entropy, I could see the faces of the people who did this to me, and the man responsible. Members all of Bill’s brainchild; “The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.” that were enjoying my hosting (at least I think they were), and the show responsible. All audience members of the “Storm Chasers Variety Show.”
BLACK AND WHITE FLASHBACK The Storm Chasers opening video began playing at the Variety Show. I was pumped, waiting behind the Dominion Hall doors for it to reach the end, and burst through with the craziest ninja moves and energy you’ve ever seen. Video is over, and it’s time. I kick-jump through the doors, lights flashing, music playing, and am officially starting this thing off. I ninja chop and “hi-yah!” everyone along the center aisle, run over to the boys, Carter and Colin (as we previously arranged), and started bustin moves with them. Finally it was time to jump on the stage and welcome everyone to possibly the greatest show in history. I jump up with my left foot, and land on my right. At that moment, my ankle rolls over to the right and pops. It felt like a fiery lighting bolt shot from my ankle up my leg. You’ve GOT TO BE kidding me.
I balance myself to face the crowd, clueless as to what has happened. I had goggles on, so no one was able to see my eyes water up. My heart jumping (both from adrenaline and the pain) I welcome everyone, along with my co-hosts Lisa and Matt, and introduce the first act. Jump off the stage, and hop over behind the curtain. I called for Katie, took off my shoe to reveal a swollen elephant foot, had her use gaffers tape to wrap it, and pop in 4 or 5 ibuprofen. Im able to bear it the next 15-20 minutes, and after that, didn’t even care about it anymore, and continued to jump around and ninja kick and finish the 2 1/2 hour show. Woke up the next morning, couldnt move it, and it was bruised, as shown by my previous photo posts.
Long story short, I tore 2 ligaments and my Permeus Brevis tendon. It’s now 3 weeks later, had surgery this morning to repair it, and am currently recovering, with my ankle and foot completely numb and non-responsive from the knee down. Doctar says its about a 2-3 month recovery (Im going to try to break that record), with this week in a soft cast with a cooling water machine hooked to it, then 3 weeks with a non-weight bearing hard cast, THEN 3 weeks with a weight bearing cast, THEN 4-6 weeks with my boot again/ankle brace. (Don’t worry Josh, told the doctor, and I’m MAKING SURE I’m in an ankle brace at the worst for your wedding.) The sense of the weather becoming more beautiful by the day can be depressing when I think about it, not being able to go to the gym or run outside. But at least I’ll have some of the summer to make up for it.
The meaning of this story? Well, of course to tell the unique story of this rare inconvenience. We have to start somewhere. And I’ve never had the feeling of not being able to move/feel any part of my body (besides a limb falling asleep of course). So I am determined to activate the movement of any part of my foot (while watching reruns of The Office, HOUSE, a little Wii action, and random TLC shows that are guilty pleasures). And guess what. I JUST gained the ability to wiggle my big toe.
So Black Mamba (Uma Thurman’s character in Kill Bill for those who haven’t seen it)…watch out. I’ll see you in VOLUME:3.

5 Responses to “Wiggle Your Big Toe”

  1. hey baby i love your new site, i hope you get better soon. i will do whatever i can to take care of you….

  2. Love the new site….you have talent beyond beliefs…..Get well soon, but until then, you know I got your back. I’ll hold it down at the Harv for Graphics!!!!

  3. hey, hope you’re feelilng better 🙂 cool site

  4. CAM!!!! dude awesome work here… man you really blow me away with the things you put together!-i need to be your apprentice.. lol –n e way hope ya get better there—ok –later–

  5. so heres my opinion … you say you cant go to the gym … you should get yourself a wheelchair and start and the bottom of the highest hill you can find and spend the day trying to make it to the top 😉 imagine your arms after that …

    …hahahahaha…

    seriously hope you feel better though, ill be praying for ya


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